The bully manager – ever had one?
By
posed by actor!
I woke up today to the headlines that the UK’s Prime Minister has allegedly been bullying staff at 10 Downing Street.
At this moment there is no evidence that this actually happened – but a few people are saying it does happen.
Whether it does or not, being managed by a bully Manager is an unpleasant situation to be in.
Check out my post on Alan Sugar by clicking here:
Staff Motivation – Which Works, “Nice-Guy Bosses” or “Intimidators”?
In my corporate career which spanned over 30 years, I have been managed by one bully manager.
And today’s UK headlines brought back all the memories, stress and emotions I went through during that period.
The Manager in question was extremely intimidating. He would shout, swear, bang the desk and tell you to your face you were useless – all in front of others. He was never happy with the work you were doing or had delivered.
I’ve seen him ‘kill’ a few careers and forced people to resign due to his inappropriate behaviour.
When I joined the company that the bully Manager worked for – I was warned.
If you have to go and see Fred (not their real name), make sure you go in the afternoon. He is like a bear with a sore head in the mornings.
You never knew where you stood with him. Sometimes he would totally ignore you or tear your head off. Other times he was your best friend.
How do you cope with situations like that?
I remember once in a team meeting, we had invited one of the junior up and coming members of staff to do a presentation to the Management team.
This was an opportunity for the ‘rising star’ to raise their profile, meet the management and be seen.
He arrived.
The bully Manager (it was his meeting) gave no welcome and just said “I hope you are not going to waste my time”. He was in a bad mood.
Imagine being the young guy who was already nervous, hearing that as his welcome.
Not a good start.
Five minutes into the presentation, the bully Manager screwed up a piece of paper and threw it at the young presenter and told him to ‘get out…I’m bored’.
That’s how he treated people.
He destroyed the young stars confidence in 5 seconds. He knew he was never going to get anywhere within the company and resigned.
There was another time when the bully Manager asked me to do a piece of work which previous Managers had failed to deliver.
No problem…I took it on.
I organized everything…it was being delivered.
Then the bully Manager came along one day and said, “What do you think you are doing?” – in the middle of the office.
“I’m delivering the piece of work you asked me to”
“We stopped that work last week, you idiot”
“Well no-one told me” I retorted
“What do you think I am doing now…I am communicating with you now…I am talking to you, no-one else…words are coming out of my mouth…it’s called communication. Stop the work”
I have removed the swear words!
He turned around and walked off.
Times like that almost made me resign but I didn’t…he wasn’t going to beat me.
Later in the day…he pulled me to one side and said “Sorry”.
He often did that…ridiculed you in public…apologized in private.
The vast majority of staff hated him.
It was a shame he had to be like that – all high and mighty – powerful – because he was a clever man. He had loads of experience but he liked the power of intimidating people.
I don’t think he knew he could get more out of his staff by still being demanding but approachable, pleasant and respectful. He had no respect.
In the end, the company released him and a lot of people were relieved.
What’s your experience? Ever been managed by a bully Manager? Share your views in the comments below.
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Hi, Andrew Rondeau here. I have over 25 years of hands-on management experience within a diverse range of different industries including retail, manufacturing, finance and IT. I’ve managed teams of up to 1000 individuals, managing numerous $multi-million projects, mergers, acquisitions and company sales.
Hi Andrew
I’ve worked for aggressive guys but never a bully.
I’m OK with aggressive management styles because you can be aggressive back and still respect each other.
In fact the most aggressive guy I ever worked for was brilliant if you had a problem. He will sit with you and talk it through.
The real bully bullies everyone. Including those who just can’t cope with the bullying.
That’sd the sign of a real bully!
.-= Keith Davis@public speaking and presentation skills´s last blog ..Practice, practice, practice… =-.
Twitter: andrewrondeau
Keith,
Aggressive management if fine – as you say – as long as you respect each that’s fine.
The guy who I am referring to – loved to ‘kill’ peoples careers via his bullying.
Andrew
Hi Andrew
It is quite a strange feeling being bullied at work and as you say it runs deep beneath the skin. I once worked for a company where nearly all of the scenarios you have covered occurred. In particular a very close work colleague was pressurised into leaving by a complete bully. All that keeps me going when I think about the situation is what you give out you WILL get back. Life has a strange way of dealing the cards – some call it karma and I am a great believer in that.
.-= James @ Wilma Flintstone Costume´s last blog ..Disclaimer =-.
Hey Andrew,
When I studied at university we learned about numerous management techniques, one of them being coercive leadership which is kind of similar to being bullied. The stats showed this type of leadership almost always failed long term as opposed to a more open and involved leadership style.
Thanks for the post
.-= Alicia @ Obi Wan Kenobi Costume´s last blog ..About Us =-.
Twitter: thatgirlisfunny
Hello Andrew,
This is a topic that has suddenly become very interesting to me. It’s a silent killer because most of us would rather make ourselves ill rather than confess that we can’t handle an office bully. The victim seems to be the one made responsible for solving the “relationship” problem. Completely useless. I’m working on a new series on my blog. It’s called How To Stand Up For Yourself. Seems to me that responding to bullies has to be practiced over and over again because they are relentless.
Twitter: andrewrondeau
Cheryl,
And the bullies just love upsetting their victims.
Sounds like a great series.
Andrew