How To Manage A Difficult Colleague

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It is a sad fact of life that sometimes, in a corporate environment, we come across people whom we don’t like, and who just don’t like us.

It stands to reason within a large organisation that there will be clashes among different personalities from time to time.

When you consider it objectively, the corporate world is unnatural for human beings, for a number of different reasons!

At work, things go against our evolutionary instincts. We have to smile at people whom we would choose to ignore if we could at times, and be proactive and perky on days when the duvet seems a far more attractive prospect than project planning or team meetings. With all this going on, it is inevitable that we are bound to clash, at some point, with a difficult colleague.

Conflicts arise for a number of reasons

We can take against people for many different reasons. The main one is that we may feel that they do not like us. Believe it or not, this is probably one of the most common reasons for colleagues to not get on, followed closely by other human emotions such as professional jealousy, fear of being undermined, or a genuine dislike for no discernible reason.

Regardless of the origins of the bad feeling, difficulties in relationships at work tend to escalate quickly because of the intensity of the atmosphere, and all the embedded fears and insecurities which go hand in hand with the world of business. No matter how your difficulties with a colleague arose, there are some simple steps you can take to address it and improve the situation…

Be honest (politely)

There is a possibility that your difficult colleague is completely unaware that their actions make you want to hit them over the head with a stapler. If this is the case, sitting down and politely explaining your feelings could be all it takes to reach a much more agreeable state, where annoying behaviours are changed.

See the other point of view and acknowledge it

There is incredible power in someone acknowledging another point of view. A phrase such as ‘I really understand that you feel like x right now. I wonder if there’s anything we can do to change that?’ shows that you have the empathy and awareness to see other viewpoints, and are prepared to act on that knowledge for a positive outcome.

Take time out before acting if tempers flare

This is a basic tenet, but very important. Walk away from rash behaviours and think hard before committing words to paper, or saying something you may regret. People have long memories in a work environment – don’t be the person who goes down in history for a hurtful comment!

Opt for professional mediation

If all attempts to get on well fail, professional facilitation or mediation with an expert from your HR department can really help. While it is often seen as a last resort, sometimes it is incredibly powerful to sit down with your difficult colleague and express how they make you feel. The chances are you will learn a little about their reaction to you, too, which could assist in reaching an amicable resolution.

How do you deal with difficult work colleagues?

Please share your views in the comments below.

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